I’m sorry
December 24, 2007
….but I don’t think I’ll be blogging anymore.
I know this effects like, two people, but I still figured I should say something instead of just disappearing off the face of the earth.
The reasons for this are twofold:
1. I don’t think it’s been good for my marriage. I need to focus on it and be there all the time, and that post I wrote “Get out of my head”? It made me realize that these feelings started when I started blogging. I’m not sure why writing a few posts on the internet made me so discombobulated, but it did. I’ve felt better during these last few weeks when I haven’t been writing. Instead, I’m going to put the energy and thoughts about this blog into my husband.
2. H and I were talking one night and we started discussing blogs. He was very disapproving about the whole idea, even when the blog is about shidduchim, not marriage (I didn’t tell him I have one, of course). He made a good point and it made me think. He said that in the area of marriage, especially, tznius is so important. Your marriage, and what goes on in it, is so private, and it should only be between you and your spouse. And while I argued the point at the time, I’ve thought about it a lot in the last few weeks. And I think he’s right. Not that I’ve ever said anything too revealing. But I’m starting to agree with him, and I also know he’ll be really upset if he ever found out about this. It would be a betrayal of his trust. And I can’t do that to him.
It’s been fun. Don’t worry, I’ll still be commenting on all of your blogs! But the jig’s up for me. Thank you all for reading!
December 24, 2007 at 5:46 pm
I totally respect that decision you made. Kol Hakavod.
Thanks for sharing until now. Good luck with everything….
December 24, 2007 at 11:22 pm
marriage newbie, i never posted before on your blog but i have read it from begining to end and check more than once a day!!! i respect your decision to stop blogging but i will miss it! maybe you could continue blogging about something else besides for marriage?
December 25, 2007 at 3:16 am
I’m sorry I didn’t find this blog until today, but after reading it all– I wish you the best of everything with your marriage, school, and job. Be well.
December 25, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Makes sense – good luck. We’ll see ya around elsewhere, I hope.
December 26, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Thank you anon, for checking in and reading!
But I have to say, unless I can think of a topic to blog about – and do it without getting my head all scrambled – I don’t think I’ll be blogging soon. But thank you for the encouragement!
And thank you Ahuva, Half, and B4S for your good wishes. See you around the blogsesphere!
December 28, 2007 at 6:50 am
Marriagenewbie, I applaud your decision. I really do. Now that you’ve come out with this, I’ll be honest and tell you that I was concerned about the fact that you’re blogging behind his back. It didn’t seem like the smartest idea when you’re starting off your marriage; solidifying it in the early stages is what is going to ensure its success later on. When you have these ideas that you feel like sharing with someone, share it with HIM. Voice your concerns to him. Tell him when you’re not feeling well. Tell him when you’re overwhelmed. Go to him for everything and anything. Learn to depend on him. That’s how you’re going to become one.
One point that concerns me, of course, is that he felt shidduchim blogs aren’t tznius (now, I wonder why that would bother me). Why did he feel that way? Is it a lack of tznius to be talking about my feelings? Is it too self-absorbed? What’s the part of it that bothered him?
You seem like a great person and it sounds like you’re married to a great man. I hope to still see you around, but if I don’t, the best of luck to you in your life and may your bayis neaman just get stronger and stronger. Just know, that even though your stay has been short, you’ve made a difference in at least one person’s life.
December 28, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Thank you SIS, for your wonderful post! It really made my day! And yes, you are right, it wasn’t good for me to do something that H didn’t know about. At first I just wanted to do it because I thought it would be good to have a space to myself, but it was just confusing me up and I should be sharing everything with him. And he is a great guy, B”H.
What he meant when he said shidduchim blogs weren’t tznuis is exactly that – he felt that it should be kept private, that anything in the realm of shidduchim/marriage should be kept only to yourself. I disagreed with him, still do – I think chronicling your struggles with it is a great way to release stress and get your thoughts in order. Plus, it’s pretty anonymous. You’re still your own person. I do think now that once you’re married its a bit more of an issue, but as for now, blog away. I think it’s great and not a bit inappropriate. Men! They just don’t understand.
May 20, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Hey, I’ve been wondering how you’re doing over there. I just saw your comment b4s’s blog, so I see you’re still around, somewhere. How’ve you been?