Dropping the ball

I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather, as you might have been able to tell from my last post. I just re-read it now and I was like, what was I thinking? But I guess everyone’s allowed to have a bad day now and again.

I’ve been dropping the ball when it comes to school. Officially I start at 10, but I haven’t been at that class in ages because I keep taking a later train into school. I’m just so tired all the time – stressed out at work, and tutoring, and H. It’s a lot. It’s like I said to H yesterday – it’s like my life is a triangle: marriage, work, and school, and I can only have two at a time. I can either be married and in school, or in school and working, or married and working, but I cannot be all three at once. I don’t think there will be any serious repercussions (it’s Touro, what do you want) but I still feel horribly guilty. Even though officially I’m “all growed up” my first instinct yesterday (when I stayed home cause the first thing I did when I got up was throw up and no, I’m pretty sure I’m not pregnant) was to call my mother and ask her permission to skip school. Pathetic, I know, but old habits die hard.

Priorities, priorities.

Last week my mother called me with a shidduch suggestion for a friend of mine, and when she called she said, “Well, I have this boy I met,” and my first reaction was, “Oooh, what’s he like?” – as if he was for me! As bad as dating can be, there is that little flash of interest and excitement, to know someone is thinking about you at all in “that way”. Of course, once the whole checking him out/waiting for a reply thing sets in, the flash fades – but there is still a tingle of excitement while you anticipate the date, choose your outfit, and the moment right before he comes when you feel like you’re going to throw up. Ah, dating. It’s an experience like no other.