Me Me Me…and Unmarried Friends

I wonder if other newly marrieds ever want just time to themselves. I love my husband dearly, and I love spending time with him. But sometimes, I just want to kick back, eat some ice cream, and watch old Sex and the City reruns without worrying about my husband overhearing the, er, bad parts. Right now my husband is at school, and I am thoroughly enjoying my alone time. Does that make me a bad person? I do miss him, though.

Also, it gives me a chance to blog, cause he don’t know about this baby. Does that make me a bad person too? I like having something that’s just for me. Plus, it gives me complete leave to write what I want without worrying about him reading it. Once I get more comfortable with this whole blog thingy, I was planning on writing about more personal things too.

Anyway. I just wanted to vent a little on unmarried friends who get resentful when their married friends can’t keep in touch as well as they did when they were single. Granted, I was like that when my first friend got married. But I was also 18 years old and still in Shana Alef. And as more and more of my friends got married, I got used to the fact that they dropped off the face of the Earth.

Now I just got married. I was 20 when I got married. I’m the first of my seminary friends to get married, the first of my close-knit group. And I understand that it’s hard that they never hear from me anymore (they never see my anyway cause they’re in college in the city). I do, I really really do. But I’m so freakin’ busy! I’m holding down two jobs. I go to school and work, and I’m busy until at least 8:30pm every single night. Then I come home and, even if I don’t have to make dinner and wash dishes, etc (which I usually do anyway) I still have another person, who, although 22 years old and almost six feet tall, likes to be taken care of. My relationship with my husband takes first priority, and every drop of energy left in my tired body goes to him first.  At the end of the weekday, I have nothing left. Really.

And it doesn’t make me feel better when you are a snot to me about it. It doesn’t make me want to call you any more. And no matter what problem you have with me or my situation – weather you are jealous, upset that I don’t call you, think I’m an annoying newly married, whatever – it does not give you a right to come to my house for shabbos and start elaborating to my husband about some of my bad qualities. You’re 22 years old. Grow up. He’ll discover them soon enough on his own. I don’t need you painting a bad picture of me to my husband, thank you very much. I’m sorry that you are feeling neglected but you do have other friends, and it’s not that I don’t like you anymore. I’m just busy!

Sorry. I really do undertand how frusterated single people can be when thier friend first get married. I was in your boat not too long ago. But I just wanted to give my side a little chance. Being married is hard. Shana Rishona is hard. It’s a huge responsibilty and process to build a relashonship with the person you are going to be spending the rest of your life with. The fact that it’s very enjoyable doesn’t make it any easier, to tell you the truth. And the cold hard truth is……….and I hate to say this, cause every single unmarried person is going to stone me…..your husband is the most important person in your life. Period. More important than your parents, your siblings, and, sorry to say, your friends.

I love you. But I’m busy.